My adrenal glands are shot. I went to a doctor that has some background in eastern medicine for help. He did a cortisol test, and low and behold, the results were gloomy. He put me on a regimen of various chinese herbs (rhodiolla, cordyceps, licorice root), gave me a bedtime and duration of sleep, restricted caffeine intake after 2pm, and told me to relax. All of these things are easier said than done. I’m the worst patient. Slowing down is hard for me. I’m a workaholic and a perfectionist. Usually the fall and winter months is the time when I can actually slow down at work and spend more time at home, but a series of unfortunate and fortunate events prevented my normal down time. I’ve been going non-stop since March. I haven’t had a full staff at the pharmacy since last year at this time. So I’ve been covering staffing hours and managing at the same time. If any of you are in a supervisory/management/administrative role, you know how hard this can be. It wares on you physically, mentally and emotionally. I’m tired.
I want to practice. I feel as though I haven’t progressed well at all this year in my yoga. I’ve backed off of the advanced series because it was just putting way too much stress on my body. I was beating myself up. Having a hard pracice then going to work for 10 hours is horrible. After all, I’m not a professional yogi, I’m a pharmacist. I’ve even found my way into a Bikram class once a week simply because it’s easy. I’m not happy about it since Bikram, the self-proclaimed “demi-god,” himself is a d-bag, but it’s easy and I still feel I’m getting some benefit from it.
I want to write. I love writing, and researching, and writing about things I’ve researched. I’ve neglected this blog. I have a laundry list of topics I want to write about, but no time or energy to write them.
I want to take pictures. I was so excited last Christmas when I got my new camera. I love taking pictures so much, of anything and everything. It makes me feel close to my dad (he was a photographer). Now the only things I’m photographing are through instagram.
I want to read. I have at least 50+ books to read. I buy them and they just sit, waiting to be opened. I have good intentions to read each one, but it never happens. I’m so brain dead at the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is read anything. I’m halfway though one right now, which is a huge accomplishment for me.
The good news is that I leave for India in exactly 1 month and 19 days. I’m staying for a whole month this time. I plan to immerse myself in rest, practice, writing, reading and photography. It’s going to be the most welcomed time off ever.